I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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