Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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