The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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