It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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