If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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