grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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