either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
