He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
