My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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