he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
