I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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