he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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