Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
