TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
