Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
