Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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