I'm going to rape someone's good day.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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