we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
