i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
