Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
