Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
