So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
