I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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