A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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