He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize