your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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