We're facebook friends in real life
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
false alarm, still single
Randomize
