He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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