Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
