Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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