Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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