Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
