in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
