I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
