she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
