the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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