oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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