He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
