Me. At least after what I've been through.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
