Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
