12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
