I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
