I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The uberlube is also flammable
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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