I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
