Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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