Ambien. No doubt about it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize