Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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