No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
