More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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