I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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