her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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