Do you still have your period?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
