Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
