is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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