You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
