know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize