I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
