Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.

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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again

(443): View more from Maryland

I hate when that happens

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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(716): View more from New York

Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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(214): View more from Texas

Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

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(347): View more from New York

Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries

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(269): View more from Michigan

I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.

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