is wine microwaveable?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
