Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.

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(925): View more from California

anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!

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(210): View more from Texas

As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner

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