Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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  (510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok
  Replies (5) Good night (2241) Bad night (633)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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  (417): I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka (479): I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once http://tfl.nu/xq51
  Replies (10) Good night (5998) Bad night (833)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

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  (402): In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck. http://tfl.nu/gl2y
  Replies (7) Good night (3314) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .

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  (913): You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" . http://tfl.nu/nj3u
  Replies (1) Good night (1999) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.

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  (303): I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume. http://tfl.nu/tvs1
  Replies (7) Good night (2608) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday

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  (808): Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday http://tfl.nu/8jtv
  Replies (11) Good night (1705) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.

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  (301): ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED. http://tfl.nu/hc30
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (572)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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  (973): She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja http://tfl.nu/0g6m
  Replies (9) Good night (1491) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter

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  (804): it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter http://tfl.nu/864b
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.

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  (619): I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible. http://tfl.nu/efx0
  Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.

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  (731): you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8o0g
  Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.

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  (631): He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him. http://tfl.nu/j092
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.

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  (678): I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment. http://tfl.nu/3adl
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die

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  (306): but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die http://tfl.nu/3cnv
  Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"

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  (305): I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court" http://tfl.nu/xin1
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (424)

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