Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.