My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats