Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

(413): View more from Massachusetts

did it start talking like on Land before time?

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(518): i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur (413): did it start talking like on Land before time? http://tfl.nu/4v1u

Replies (12) Good night (4187) Bad night (758)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on

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(250): my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on http://tfl.nu/e38v

Replies (19) Good night (4818) Bad night (1059)
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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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(210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz

Replies (32) Good night (9346) Bad night (1149)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.

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(651): It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes. http://tfl.nu/19vc

Replies (24) Good night (1269) Bad night (4583)
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(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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(315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81

Replies (14) Good night (6205) Bad night (848)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.

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(630): I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong. http://tfl.nu/nqbt

Replies (19) Good night (3959) Bad night (1534)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?

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(740): Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory? http://tfl.nu/3lqg

Replies (18) Good night (4354) Bad night (1024)
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(510): View more from California

You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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(510): You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink http://tfl.nu/uf46

Replies (3) Good night (2976) Bad night (924)
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(210): View more from Texas

I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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(210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m

Replies (1) Good night (1753) Bad night (587)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?

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(304): well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out? http://tfl.nu/ogsn

Replies (9) Good night (1499) Bad night (747)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"

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(250): He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too" http://tfl.nu/d99r

Replies (1) Good night (1554) Bad night (443)
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(818): View more from California

I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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(818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa

Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (364)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.

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(480): Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them. http://tfl.nu/xfpb

Replies (6) Good night (355) Bad night (569)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.

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(651): Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year. http://tfl.nu/7b82

Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (382)
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(661): View more from California

I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.

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(661): I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was. http://tfl.nu/20hr

Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (163)

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