There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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